New Everything

So today I decided that I was sick and tired of my old blog. I didn't like the setup, the color, or the title. So today I decided to change it. I know its really pink, but I like pink and I guess I was in a pink mood at the time I recreated it. I hope you all like it. You can leave me a post letting me know what you think.

So I changed the title of my blog to Only Trust Him. Why? Well that is what God has been teaching me lately, to only trust HIM! I have been having a hard struggle with the fact that I am still single. Tomorrow I turn 21 and have never had a boyfriend. Meanwhile all of my friends are either dating or starting to date. Its quite discouraging to me sometimes. I really have a desire to date and to get married and yet nothing is happening. Nothing has ever happened. So my since high school I have been trying to find "Mr. Right" on my own, and to be quite honest it hasn't worked. So here I am a second semester freshman in college (I should be a Jr.) and no boyfriend and no prospects. So I am thinking well guess I need to go and find a guy. Not how it works people. I have been reading this book called "Lady in Waiting". This book is talking about developing your love relationships. Not your love relationships with that specail someone, but with God and others. I have gotten through two chapters Lady of Faith and Lady of...(I can't remember the name of it!). Well anyways in the book they pointed out that the best time to serve God and grow closer to Him is during your single years. Isn't that the truth? I would love to think that when I get married I am going to serve God and grow closer to Him than I am now, but I would be fooling myself. Married people are so busy! They hardly have time for themselves! I need to be growing closer to Him! Plus finding the perfect guy isn't what is going to make me happy in life. First off there is no "perfect guy" and second even if there was he won't bring the joy and fulfillment I need. Only Christ can! I found a quote in this book that I really like. "No one, not even the person that you will someday marry will make you happy- only Christ can." If you try to convince yourself otherwise, you are going to be in for a big suprise. Only God brings the joy and the fulfillment that you can ever need or want.

As for trusting God on this issue, I am going to be honest and say that I am afraid that there might not be somewhere out there for me. I am afraid that if I put my total and complete trust in God that I am going to find out that there is no "special someone for me". Well if there isn't who cares right? Christ is what is going to make me happy! Why is it so hard for us to trust God on these issues? Because our plan doesn't go with His plan and we don't want our plan to have to change! But God knows what is best for our lives does He not? (Please realize that I am "preaching" to myself as well here). They why do we think we know best?

So the question I have to ask myself everyday is this, where is my focus today? God or Guys? Thats what it all really boils down to. If I have my focus on God, I notice that my day tends to go a lot easier and that I don't think so much about dating and marriage and the fact that I am not dating. But if my focus is on guys, I notice that I struggle every minute of the day with the fact that I am still single. So why not keep my focus on what really matters, God, and what doesn't really matter, guys? Just something to think about.